found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Randomize
