He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
