He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
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