I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
