I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
