as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Randomize
