i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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