what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
