Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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