She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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