I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
