careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
