Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
