Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
