U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
