you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
