i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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