Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
