If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Panties = found
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
