You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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