You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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