i would punch a child for taco bell
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
