gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
