your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
