3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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