some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
