So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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