somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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