The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Randomize
