shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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