I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
