Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just found puke in my bra..
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
