It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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