he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
