is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Randomize
