Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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