if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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