I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
