Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
