There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Every concussion has its silver lining
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
