She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
