escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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