It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
