wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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