Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
