YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
