Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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