just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
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