shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
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