your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
