Jerry, you need to find god
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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